Kind, Professional, Yet Unknowing

My birth story has some twists and turns, as I'm sure most do. I'm a first time Mama, and I've been waiting a long time for this moment. I planned a home birth, and after a very long and tiring labor, things slowed down. I decided to transfer, not realizing I was in transition and 9-10cm dilated; what a horrible five minute drive that was! Upon arrival, I was contracting almost continuously so my Mum, birth partner, and I were screened up in L&D. I was changed and getting hooked up to monitors and an IV within the first five minutes. Everything was moving so fast, I didn't know what was happening and couldn't slow down to focus on my body and baby. I was accompanied by the Midwives, and one Nurse. The Nurse was kind, efficient, and very helpful. She was encouraging me through each contraction, praising my efforts, and offering a hand if I wanted it. My Mum, who was supposed to be my main source of comfort, was the shoulder I needed but felt was not being encouraged or aided. The majority of the time I was being directed by the Midwives, whom I am not entirely happy with due to the biggest issue here, consent. They did not inform the Nurse of my birth preferences, I was not in a position to do so. The Nurse never asked, she just did her job as routinely as she probably did with the birther before and after me. I wanted hands off unless medically necessary, the Nurse did this prior to baby's arrival, but not after. I wanted direct skin to skin and delayed cord cutting. These things did not happen. I did not want baby wiped off or wrapped up with a hat. These things were done. There are other things that happened thatI did not want and could not advocate for myself in the moment because I was pushing out my tiny human. However, the other things were on the Midwives more so than the Nurse, as she was just doing her job. However, no one asked what I wanted in the moment. No one bothered to listen when I was saying NO to positions or maneuvers. I have a beautiful and healthy baby, and I am grateful and blessed for that. I am not happy with the process and steps taken upon baby's arrival. The care after birth was pretty good, the Nurses were kind and offered assistance. I was not okay with leaving my baby to go shower though, that is something I would have liked to wait on as it was too soon after their arrival for me to hand then over. This made me sad and brought on anxiety, but I wasn't asked I was told to go shower, she literally took me out of bed. Then, the Nurses in Maternity were also very sweet, and just couldn't wait to get their hands on the baby. I however, was not interested in having someone in my room every couple of hours while I was trying to bond with my baby. I did not have issues feeding, I know they have to come check, but it was very disruptive and felt intrusive. I would buzz if I needed something, that is how it should be. A mother and baby need time alone to get to know each other. These are all reasons I wanted a homebirth, and all of the reasons I so wished I hadn't transfered. The birth I got was the complete opposite of what I wished for, and that isn't alright. No matter how kind and helpful the staff may have been, no one asked what I wanted or didn't want, they just continued on with their routine. This is where changes should be made. Birth isn't medical, it's natural. Regardless of being in a hospital, the medical staff need to have a grasp on the whole picture. The aftermath of birth is a real wave, and it starts with the labor and delivery experience as a whole.